When we find ourselves stuck and wondering what we need to do with our lives, careers, businesses, ideas, we might be asking the wrong questions. Rather than asking, “What do I do?” ask, “Who do I want to be?” Over 2000 years ago, the Roman philosopher Epictetus asked, “Who exactly do you want to be?”
Our society is obsessed with doing, when being is really our answer.
What if we asked ourselves with every decision we make, “Is this helping me become the person I want to become?” If we focused on who we want to become, the question of what to do next will likely resolve itself.
A Harvard psychologist said, “Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished.” We are becoming and that is something worth focusing on. Here is a great exercise to moving us to who we really want to become.
1) Write out the qualities you want — who you want to be. Here’s what I would say about me.
a person who resolves conflict without belittling and condemning
a person who adds value wherever I am
a person who gets outside of her comfort zone on a regular basis
2) Write examples or situation in which you will exhibit these qualities. Again, a few of my own answers.
When team members have opposing ideas, I will listen with the intent to understand their point of view.
When I meet someone new, I will purposefully connect them to someone or something that brings value to them.
When I start to feel uncomfortable, I will remind myself that growth comes when I get outside my comfort zone. (And if I’m not growing, I’m dying.)
3) Create this person everyday.
My hunch is if we begin to create the person we want to be on a consistent basis then knowing what to do next will come naturally. Coaching is designed to support you in your journey of becoming. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to take your next step.