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5 Principles of Self-Love

In February our world loves to focus on romantic love, when self-love seems to be the one thing that would impact our relationships, our capacity, our careers, our future. Why don’t we dedicate a month to self-love?

Self-love is a state of appreciation for ourselves that grows into actions that support physical, mental and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for our own well-being. Self-love means taking care of our own needs and not sacrificing our well-being to please others.

Self-love is a process, a journey, not a final destination. It’s not even a list of self-care to-do items. Although that can be a significant part of self-love. When we see self-love as a process, a journey that we are on, we are able to adopt some new healthy perspectives.

Accept imperfection

Imperfection is not a sign of weakness, simply an indicator that we’re human. When we see self-love as a process we can relax the unattainable goal of perfection and appreciate, even be grateful for, our humanness.

What would have to shift in how you talk to yourself in order to accept your imperfections?

Affirm our Mess

I recently received a text from a friend, “I’m a mess and GREAT all at the same time.” When we understand we’re on a journey, we can recognize that messy and great can definitely co-exist. When things don’t come together as expected and we feel like a mess it’s not a place to feel unworthy but a place to acknowledge the journey — this is a moment of awakening or truth or discovery. The mess is a necessary and even an essential part of it all.

What would have to shift in the way you talk about yourself to others in order to affirm your mess?

Recognize there’s Room for Growth

In a process there is always room for growth. The very ebb and flow of a process creates space for growth. We never actually arrive. Knowing that self-love is a pilgrimage, helps us move toward more without degrading ourselves for not having arrived.

Where do you need to acknowledge you still have room to grow? What step can you take in the next 24 hours toward that growth?

Acknowledge the World’s Standards

If we are indeed becoming, than we’re changing, growing, adapting. Acknowledging the world has certain standards, and at the same time, we can create our own guidelines gives us room to outgrow some of the old rules. Rules tend to stay stagnate while people mature, expand, increase.

What old rules, standards, guidelines no longer fit your world? What is the new rule? How will you make that adjustment?

Practice Do-Overs

I have a great friend whose family regularly practices do-overs. When a family member reacts in a way that is not aligned to who they want to be, they get to do-it-over. When we understand self-love is a journey, starting over isn’t daunting, it’s exciting. It’s a rewarding opportunity.

Where do you need to practice a do-over? What would have to happen in order for you to regularly allow yourself a do-over?

Celebrate Everything

Because this is a process, even when we haven’t reached the big goal, we can celebrate our growth. When we haven’t conquered the one big thing but see our responses shift or our strength increase or our mindset change, that’s progress worth celebrating.

What would a daily celebration of your growth, strength, forward movement look like for you?

Self-love is a journey full of walking, globetrotting, drifting, wandering, and jet-setting. These principles are what you pick up as you step on the road of self-love.


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